On life...

Yuanpin said one's mindset can changes his life and he said I am the type that just want to live life simply. What he meant is perhaps I could try to be a lil' more ambitious in life, try exploring the edge a lil more and I know that one without aspiration(s), as the old saying goes, lives an empty life.

I have been spending just a tad more time reading (trying less discreetly) forwarded emails and chatting via emails during work. I came across some saddest stories in life and I know life, individual to another, is never ever fair.

Say there's this story about a couldn't be more than 5 year old boy in a 3rd world country(which I forgotten) got his hand ran under a truck AS A PUNISHMENT for stealing a just a fucking piece of bread (I assumed that he was too young, too hungry, too poor to do that.) That is a punishment based on that fucking group of unorthodox religious fucking bastards and they did that to a child who knew possibly nothing.
Every of my cells fueled by fume and helplessness. I just wish, often wish that I have some kinda special power to fly over to that place in time to finish off everyone there.
To me,these group of demons just can't be forgiven by love. I am no Saint and I can't bring myself to forgive this kinda monstrous act. They are brought right from hell and deserved to go back there in the most torturous manner that I could think of.

Say even if that email is a faux, I just believe that there is so many unfairness practice to our own mankind BY our own mankind and it is insane.

The thing about life is...Some of us don't even have the choice to complain and many of us who are in the much more fortunate situation did.
By that I meant not anyone else but perhaps most of us out there.

I don't wanna complain and be ashamed about wanting just to lead a simple life. I could be an under achiever, a dreamer, a 3 minute passion kinda drifter in life but I just don't find fault with such a simple asking life.
Okay...I may not be expecting the simplest life and I have my desires of materials.
Who doesn't?

A simple date makes me happy.
A good time with my friends makes me happy.
Talking to my dad in the kitchen just now or rather more of listening to him, makes me happy.
A simple long-time-no-chat (and it's a good one) with Jason over the phone just now, makes me happy.
Blowing kisses with my dad JUST JUST now before he goes to sleep, makes me happy.
Doing reflections of my bliss - the health, the safety etc, makes me happy.

Happy not as in HAHAHAHA,happy.
Happy with just a -sigh-smiley happy.

That...a life like this...is nothing too difficult & nothing wrong right?

I often felt I am wasting my life, my youth away for not doing something great, something meaningful enough but do I wanna spend my time instead trying to figure which is the most meaningful and how to do it, what's the next step AND then miss out on all those things...those simple things in life?

I dunno...There is no perfect situation in life.One comes, one has to go. I guess at the end of day, it very much depends on what kinda person you really are.
For me, I guess I am just me.
-shrugs.- =)

On a side note...I dunno what's up with you* suddenly telling me that you and her* are not together yet but you* are wooing her. What is the meaning of telling me and I am saying now, I don't give a fuck about that.
The reason that I was kinda revolted about you* was the very sudden change of mind and you* suddenly become another person I wish not to be.
You are still you, that I didn't know only.

Oddly enough...I still care to wish you all the best, though rather nonchalantly.
You were a great friend, funny one. Great and dangerous memories.
I guess there are some people I just can't afford to be friends with, till the another time comes.

That's it. From that bye-bye-bye, it is goodbye.

Not gonna be too lengthy about that cos' I don't see the need to talk and there is no extra emotions coming out from me.

Hope to be able to turn in earlier tonight(this is from someone who has been yawning and complaining how tired she is throughout the week) cos' I have a bet with Jason.
Whoever reaches earlier at Orchard's Mcdonald between 10am to 10.30am, gonna buy breakfast.

I got a feeling I am gonna be that one cos' I always spend too much time checking my hair in the mirror before I step out.

Oh well..keep you updated.

Love,
Ling